Sunday, August 22, 2010

Having kids makes your relation with your spouse a stronger or a distant one?

honest thoughtful answers plz..


Thanks.Having kids makes your relation with your spouse a stronger or a distant one?
I think it depends on the state of your marriage when you enter into parenthood. If you have a strong, loving marriage, then children can solidify that bond--having children changes you from being a couple to being a family.





But if the partnership is already shaky to begin with, having a baby together can just add more stress to an already stressful situation. So many people make the mistake of thinking that having children will fix the problems in their marriage, when what it usually does is to drive a bigger wedge between you.





Both partners need to commit to the idea of making the marriage a priority. It's so easy to let the responsibilities of child rearing, careers, and other things in your life take over to the point where you begin to take your marriage for granted. Children or not, you need to make sure you are making time for one another, supporting one another, and appreciating your spouse. Having kids makes your relation with your spouse a stronger or a distant one?
i think its like getting married if you go into it with a realistic perspective then you will be fine. having a baby is stressful and joyful. it wont save a failing marriage and will definitely test a strong one you are pushed by having little time for yourself let alone your partner, you are constantly putting other peoples needs first, and you are tired. having said that i think if you are realistic and do take the time to nurture your husband and your self then you will do fine. i think hiring a babysitter is great but for a more constant time commitment make sure that the kids are on an early schedule. my kids 4 and 2 1/2 are in bed between 7-8 and that leaves my husband and i at least two hours of time to talk, cuddle and communicate. this time may not work for you but i think making the time for you daily is important


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Having a child made me realize I was wasting my time with my bf who clearly isn't the future husband/father I want for me or my future kids. I haven't been happier since we split up, and now I know what I need in a future partner. Having my baby basically ended our relationship, but it was for the better.
It made my relationship with my spouse at tha time more distant, leading 2 now, us not being 2gether. i was moody a lot, going through many changes, and i felt like he didn't help enough, we were/are both young, and i stepped up 2 tha plate, whereas i felt he took a new child 2 lightly as a responsibilty. However....








This did lead me 2 my spouse now, who is even a couple of yrs younger, but has taken this new experience very well, he's adapted, and we work in unision 2 make our family successful, we had a few times when we disagreed, but building our life 2gether, and his bond with my son, we're closer, and stronger than ever!
It made us stronger.


To my husband i had always been (in his words)- A young, passionate, hot blooded, firey woman. And to me, he was: Gorgeous, smart, funny, and a tad over-whelming.


When i was 19 and my first daughter was born we both revealed completely different sides. I melted completely, and Arun soon followed suit. But we were both different yet the same, just toned down a little.


Having a child, shoudlnt be make or break, it should be work. Sure it could automatically bring you closer, but even if things dont work out, it shouldnt be finished because the baby has come between a couple.





This is just my opinion, and well my husbands too. Haha.





Porsha xx



I think having a child plays its part both ways. You go from being a duo to a trio and Its alot harder to remember your spouse and their needs when there are other lives involved so you really need to find that healthy balance so you, your spouse or your child feeling left out.
kids take up alot of your time, and it does interfere with your personal time with your husband. if you dont get a sitter once in awhile to make time alone, then it makes the relationship worsen.
Iwas with my kids dad for five years before having a child. The first one came and it made it hard the secound one came and it broke it apart.

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