Do you feel like you have to teach your spouse how to treat you?

I really feel like that... I feel like he keeps f'ing up and doing stuff then says sorry. Its almost like I feel like I have to teach him what communication and trust means... is this normal? I know it takes communication in a relationship... but when we communicate I feel like I have to tell him not only what I need, but I have to tell him what exactly it takes to be married. Is this normal? Is it just that I am communicating to him what I need or is it that I am telling him how to be in a relationship?Do you feel like you have to teach your spouse how to treat you?
Well of course. No one comes ';ready-made'; for marriage. Most people do have to talk about things and figure out how to communicate with each other, as they also learn what annoys each other, ect. I've had to ';train'; my husband and I'm still doing it after three years together, if that tells you anything.





There's no way for him to know how you feel about something unless you tell him. Guys don't pick up on little hints and that kind of thing; in fact, they're generally pretty oblivious. You have to tell him these things in order for him to know them, so you're on the right track! If couples could communicate telepathically or read each other's minds then communication wouldn't be such a big problem, but guys neither pick up on hints nor read female minds, and they really don't like to ';talk';. You just gotta make 'em.





And yes, you may have to tell him how to be in the relationship, too. As I said, no one comes ready-made. You have to get to know each other's habits, boundaries, moods, that kind of thing...and yes, it takes a while. Just keep the lines of communication open, even if it feels like you're the only one ever talking.Do you feel like you have to teach your spouse how to treat you?
Some guys simply don't know. It's sometimes how they were raised, or a failure of the educational system. Alas, all is not lost. Community colleges run communications courses and assertiveness training. There are self help articles all over the place these days. He needs to want to make your marriage the best it can be, and that starts with himself.





I always recommend that a couple take a personal growth class of some sort together. It could be anything, creative writing or artwork. There are other ways to involve him without you having to feel like your doing what his mother should have. It's not necessarily a failure on his Mom's part, but I said it that way because that's the impression I have of how you feel. See if there's any information on http://drphil.com that might be helpful if you can't find anything in your local community.





Best of luck, but try not to be to hard on him.
Its not normal, He should not have to be taught how to treat you, he should have learned that before you married him. He sounds like a jerk %26amp; you should move on. how many times are you going to let him walk all over you %26amp; treat you like garbage %26amp; him think that becasue he says sorry %26amp; that will make it all better! you deserve soooo much better!! there are men out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!!!
Well, while I think we all teach each other certain things, and we should grow together as a couple, I don't think that one person should necessarily have to put up with repeated F-up's and then the other person just gets by with an ';I'm sorry.'; I just think that it should be more equal, you two should be growing together. It sounds to me like you're raising a child here, not being in a relationship with your husband.
I think it's normal. Most guys do not come factory-ready. My husband is awesome in many ways, but he does not have much experience with women, so I have to teach him what is acceptable and unacceptable. My dad said that my mom did this too, so to me it is normal!
I got to the point with my ex, that talking to her was just wasting my time and I was right because ultimately, people know how they should act, but in reality, they only act the way that they want to whether it is right or not.





I sincerely hope that things work out for you.
i think we do have to teach others how to treat us, it is normal i don't think when a man first gets married, or if he is young and immature that he even has a clue about it. just be patient and in time u may have a really good relationship.
It's like that because you're from different background and haven't been taught the same values.





I've been there, it's hard. He would do things that I would consider rude and illmannered and for him they were normal things. He never changed.
I do because he hasn't been married for a long time sometimes I even feel like he don't treat me like his wife because he may still love his ex but yes I do have to tell him stuff it gets annoying.
I'll be honest. My wife is much better at relationships and marriage than I am. I've learned a lot from her and continue to. I'm grateful she's been willing to.
Nope. He came well-mannered and already trained. I probably would've dropped any man who wasn't long before I thought of marrying him.