How can I convince my spouse I still think she's beautiful (she doesn't take compliments well)?

We've been together a long time, and no matter how much I tell her she looks great (I still think she's gorgeous, actually) and she still ';does it'; for me in the bedroom (and I show her she does), she still seems to deflect compliments, never seeming to accept that I'm still head-over-heels in love with her.





Any thoughts?





Any really constructive suggestions would be appreciated.





Thanks! How can I convince my spouse I still think she's beautiful (she doesn't take compliments well)?
Well, some people don't know how to receive a compliment. They feel shy or awkward about it. But I'm sure she knows how you feel about her, and she probably feels really very proud to have a man who loves her so much. She just may not be able to show it.





I used to have a hard time accepting compliments too, I had no idea how to respond. Finally I just started muttering ';thanks'; whenever someone complimented me. Inside I was beaming but outside I probably appeared to be nonresponsive.





So don't worry too much about it. She knows you think she's beautiful. Just keep telling her and let her appreciate it on the inside even if she's unsure how to respond to it.How can I convince my spouse I still think she's beautiful (she doesn't take compliments well)?
You can tell her she's beautiful but she has to feel beautiful in order to accept it. The media makes it really hard for women of any age to feel beautiful, though, so you may be facing an uphill struggle.





You could talk to her, though, about how it hurts your feelings that she doesn't believe you. After all these years, she ought to be able to trust your judgment regarding her beauty.
It's probably low self-esteem on her part. She doesn't feel confident in her appearance so it makes her uncomfortable to be told she's beautiful. It could also be that she's modest and doesn't think she should take pride in something so superficial as her appearance. Either just continue to compliment her knowing she's going to react like she does or tell her it bothers you that she does it.
Always tell her that she is beautiful and that you love her.





But to reinforce this, do some planning. Get a bunch of friends and or co-workers to help you, but people that she doesn't know so to here they are strangers. Then go somewhere public like a mall.


Have these supposedly random people come up to her as they pass by, saying that she is beautiful, her outfit is beautiful, you are a lucky man to have such a beautiful wife etc. 4 or five of these ';random people'; will be a big boost to your wife's confidence.





k



I felt the way your spouse did for the longest time. My husband would say the nicest things but I would either deny it or just ignore him. It has to do with self confidence. My self confidence was low and accepting compliments was very difficlut. My self esteem was so low that it even negatively affected our sexual time together. For me what really helped was a book a friend suggested to my spouse called, Life's Little How To Book which he found online at Barnes and Noble. The book talks about self esteem, marriage and other life stuff. I applied the tips in that book such as using daily self affirmations among a ton of other things to change how I felt about me. There isn't much you can do. It has to do with her. The book inspired me and could inspire her too to make those changes.
it's just low self-esteem. i was like that, but when i realized how annoying i sounded when i said ';no i'm not'; all the time, i changed. i realized that he wouldn't lie to me about something like that. then i started feeling better about myself. next time she doesn't take a compliement well, say, ';dear, it bothers me that we've been together so long, and you don't believe me when i tell you how beautiful you are. it hurts my feelings';
Why not leave her little notes to remind her... like if you get ready in the morning before her, leave a sticky on the mirror that says she took your breath away last night.... or something like that....





Also, I will tell you... it is easier to believe the bad stuff than the good stuff. Just keep at it, and she'll come around. Try to use other words than just she looks great.... beautiful, pretty, amazing....etc...
explain that dismissing a compliment is like throwing back a present at you. Also let her know that when you stop wanting her is when she should worry. Order her some lingerie to wear for you from trashy.com, it should show her versus tell her how hot she is to you.
Tell her it bothers you that she can't take compliment, or maybe she wants you to continue to give compliments and insist on it so she keeps deflecting them to make you do it more.
i would tell her the opposite say honey well what do you think you should do about it then. suggest a makeover or a gym class. if she gets upset then throw your hands up and say whatever you decide i support you either way
Just keep telling her..


She does appreciate it...
A lot of us, men and women, don't do well with compliments. Not that we lack confidence or have low self esteem. Perhaps it's the direct ';you look great'; sort of compliments she has trouble with. It's just that we don't like to be the focus of attention, even from someone special. Trust me - although she may be turning your compliments aside, she is taking them in.





Okay... she looks great, is gorgeous, etc.


Maybe instead of generalities, try being a bit more specific. What is it about the way her hair... , that thing she does with her lips when she's thinking, that little curve of her body (as your hands caress her there), that goofy expression she gets, and so on. What are those little things she does for and to you that get your attention every time. Let your sweetie know that you truly notice the little things. What is it about her that allows you to pick her out in a crowd at a distance? If you could only rely on a single sense to identify her, what would that tell you?





I guess you will just have to try variations with your compliments. Open with a hug, before even saying anything. Or just give her a quick hug or kiss, and walk away. Make her wonder what that was about. Be more flirtatious with it. Act offended when she parries your kind words. If she gives you that 'yeah, right'; look, blow her a kiss, or stick out your tongue at her. Let her know that you intend to compliment her, and mean it, no matter what.